In honor of the rite of spring...
... Which comes on the 21st, technically, but what the hell.
I've remarked on this before, but I don't think that I've ever actually written about it, this strange dichotomy in my character: on the one hand, I very much consider myself a feminist, i.e., I firmly believe in the equality of the sexes in all areas, political, social, athletic, etc. On the other hand, I notice in myself a definite tendency to discount women, on some level, as unimportant.
This, of course, does not operate with any of the women I consider close friends or family, but rather with women as a "species," if you will. My theory is that I tend to ignore women in my head because I'm not sexually attracted to any of them.
To me, sex is such a basic component of what it means to be human that it runs through every interpersonal interaction I have, if only as potential energy that need not necessarily be converted into action. I enjoy interactions with men so much precisely because of that potential, because whether it's acknowledged or not, we're connecting on what's perhaps the most basic level available to two human beings. With women, the discourse is purely mental-- words and deeds that, while they technically involve the body no less, are nevertheless missing that spark I find so essential.
I find myself wondering if this same impulse isn't at the root of most misogyny, in the end-- cisgendered men feel that spark when interacting with women, but, not seeing them as equals for whatever reason, give themselves entirely over to the sexual impulse without considering the higher forces at work in the object of their desire. Really, such a process is just the reverse of the process I notice in myself-- a process I'm trying to alter, since when I'm under its influence, I'm really no better than if I were viewing women purely as sex objects.
(This somewhat incoherent post brought to you by Bark/Bite, who made me think. Read his stuff, it's quite good.)
I've remarked on this before, but I don't think that I've ever actually written about it, this strange dichotomy in my character: on the one hand, I very much consider myself a feminist, i.e., I firmly believe in the equality of the sexes in all areas, political, social, athletic, etc. On the other hand, I notice in myself a definite tendency to discount women, on some level, as unimportant.
This, of course, does not operate with any of the women I consider close friends or family, but rather with women as a "species," if you will. My theory is that I tend to ignore women in my head because I'm not sexually attracted to any of them.
To me, sex is such a basic component of what it means to be human that it runs through every interpersonal interaction I have, if only as potential energy that need not necessarily be converted into action. I enjoy interactions with men so much precisely because of that potential, because whether it's acknowledged or not, we're connecting on what's perhaps the most basic level available to two human beings. With women, the discourse is purely mental-- words and deeds that, while they technically involve the body no less, are nevertheless missing that spark I find so essential.
I find myself wondering if this same impulse isn't at the root of most misogyny, in the end-- cisgendered men feel that spark when interacting with women, but, not seeing them as equals for whatever reason, give themselves entirely over to the sexual impulse without considering the higher forces at work in the object of their desire. Really, such a process is just the reverse of the process I notice in myself-- a process I'm trying to alter, since when I'm under its influence, I'm really no better than if I were viewing women purely as sex objects.
(This somewhat incoherent post brought to you by Bark/Bite, who made me think. Read his stuff, it's quite good.)
posted by Jon at 9:51 PM
1 Comments:
More fodder for consideration in the current paradigm shift, this all. I was wondering what goes on in the mind of the guy who IS attracted to women when communicating with other guys who ARE attracted to women. Where there is no apparent potential for sexual interaction, what gives then?
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